spitting about eliot spitzer

In addition to my numerous writing hats, I compose a regular column entitled "View From the Porch" for the Record Review newspaper, the official paper of Bedford, N.Y., the privileged, insanely gorgeous, mostly prosperous portion of Northern Westchester county where  Ralph Lauren, George Soros, Richard Gere, Chevy Chase, and other assorted celebrities - in their own minds and otherwise - live. Following the high profile bust of Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who got nabbed and subsequently resigned for cavorting with a high end prostitute "Kristen," for whom he spent an estimated $80,000, I wrote about it for the newspaper. I said a lot of things in that column, including that I think married men who dally with doxies aren't really cheating on their wives, since paid for sex isn't infidelity as much as it is sport. To be honest, were I Tilda Spitzer, I'd be more ticked about the money than where he put his cock. Also what was that business about him refusing to wear a condom but not wanting to take off his socks? Let me guess. Eliot Spitzer suffers from foot fungus. On the subject of sport, I forgot to mention it in the column, but houses of prostitution in the 19th century were called Sporting Houses. It was a term of endearment to call any oversexed old geezer, "Old Sport." Well. How dare I, one angry letter writer to the paper wrote. Apparently I am the devil, and according to this man, I insult and humiliate good women in Bedford  altogether with my despicable thoughts. 

I'm kind of excited about this. Who knew anyone was reading my words so carefully? And they say newspapers are dying. Pshaw.