“I just read ‘Shades of Gray’ and loved it,” a friend
recently gushed to me. This is a woman I admittedly don’t know very well, but
she strikes me as fairly conservative. She’s been married to the same man a
long time, her kids are mostly grown, and judging from the way she dresses,
even when I’ve seen her dressed up, appears to be someone more at home in yoga
clothes than, uh, leather and nipple clamps. She seemed almost defiant, telling
me her reading tastes. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised. Every woman needs a bit of
a sexy shake up from time to time, and what fills the bill better than a dirty
novel?
Sexy media, whether it’s a work of fiction, or a movie
(foreign films, for the record, usually have twice as much sex in them, especially
if they’re French), a hot magazine cover, a racy advertisement, are really good
for shaking things up, and putting you in the head of a person who thinks about
sex. It’s been said (and oft reported) that the average man has hundreds of
sexual thoughts every day, but that women only think about sex, or things that
are sexy, occasionally. That’s because the average woman is consumed and inundated
with both mundane and pressing things on her to-do list, things like laundry
and picking up something for dinner and work deadlines. These things, while
necessary, are pretty libido killing, at least for the majority of women.
Getting out of your head is an important step in reclaiming
your sexual health and vitality. It’s also a good way to release stress. A few
weeks ago in a movie theater crowded with middle aged women, two girlfriends
and I laughed and squealed and howled at the bumps, grinds, and moves of the
male strippers featured in the popular summer film, “Magic Mike.” The
girlfriend sitting next to me, married to the same man for 28 years,
practically wet her pants when Mike’s break-a-way pants broke off, revealing
his deliciously bare bottom. “Look at that hairless butt,” she marveled. “My
husband is so hairy. I wish he would wax his back and ass.”
Hopefully when my friend got home from the movie, she closed
her eyes and made believe her husband was Magic Mike. Or Mr. Gray. Fantasy is
wonderful. Embrace it. Embrace sexy media. It’s stimulating. It’s sexy. And
best of all, it’s a safe and healthy way to behave sinfully.
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