Vigil held in Katonah for Newtown victims

It began with a series of emails, followed by Facebook postings. “Candlelight vigil in front of the library at 4:30 this afternoon in Katonah. Our thoughts are with the families of the victims,” the messages said. In the waning light of a December afternoon, one day after news broke of the mass shootings in nearby Newtown, dozens of residents from Katonah gathered to mourn, share their thoughts, and pay respect to those who lost their lives in the Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Bea Rhodes was the one who began the emails.

“I really didn’t have a plan,” Ms. Rhodes said on the Katonah Village Green, her expression somber and concerned as she handed out candles. “I just felt it was important and appropriate to give people a place to gather and to be with other people experiencing grief.”

As the sky darkened, the crowd grew and gained strength. Although the vigil had no clear organizers, some people automatically began helping Ms. Rhodes pass candles out. Melissa Boyer, the pastor at the Katonah United Methodist Church, was one of the several people who had shared news of the vigil on Facebook. Although she had not planned on taking on any kind of leadership position at the vigil, it quickly emerged that she should be the one to formally start the vigil by offering a prayer.

Pastor Boyer started out saying she was comfortable leading an interfaith prayer and dialogue. She said in the face of a senseless tragedy, pat answers and explanations can’t and won’t work. Reflecting on the illumination of so many candles held in more than 50+ hands, instead she said she would prefer to focuse on the idea of sacred light.

“However you define the sacred, we all have a light we carry with us at all times,” Pastor Boyer said. “We each have our own life, talents, different responses to what has just happened. And I thank God for that.”  She praised the diversity of the vigil gathering which included the young, the old; mothers, fathers, grandparents, even dogs, who all stood in the cold, listening to the spoken and unspoken words. “What we need is more love, love, love, and more love,” Pastor Boyer concluded after asking everyone to take a moment to pray for the dead. Then she spoke of the power of community, and how that power can heal.

In the sharing that occurred after the prayer, Robert Goodstein, a Katonah resident, recalled the old Elton John song, “A Candle in the Wind.”

“I’m not an Elton John fan,” he said, “But it makes sense here.” Mr. Goodstein spoke about the old adage that God only burdens each individual with as much pain as they can bear. “The people of Newtown must be very strong,” he said. “They must be to have been given and to get through this. I don’t know how they will hold up,” Mr. Goodstein said. “Only that they must.”

Another person mentioned Fred Rogers of the long running children’s television program, “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.” Recalling some of the wise and steady advice Mr. Rogers doled out, he said that in times of trouble, Mr. Rogers’ advised children to “Always look at all the people who are helping others out.”

Eileen McGrath, an associate broker with Douglas Elliman Westchester, whose offices are in downtown Katonah and who is a lifelong Katonah resident, is familiar with the family of one of the slain Newtown teachers, Ann Marie Murphy, nee McGowan, who grew up in Katonah.

“I didn’t know Annie personally as she was a few years younger than me,” Ms. Mcgrath said. “But everyone knew the McGowans. They had 8 kids.” She said that the Helmes’, the McGowans, and the Lynches, were the backbone of the St. Mary’s parish. “They all lived within a few blocks of each other. Everyone was constantly in and out of each other’s houses,” she said. Ms. McGrath said the families had such a sense of community and selflessness that she wasn’t surprised at all to have learned Ms. Murphy died trying to shield her students.

Pastor Boyer continued the vigil by suggesting people express their hopes for moving forward. One woman said she wished this incident would be a catalyst for introducing stricter gun controls. A man spoke of his hope that children could be kept safe. Another man said he hoped the surviving children in the Newtown community would grow up people whose lives were not defined by that terrible day. A woman spoke of the need to make mental health help a priority. Another woman spoke sadly about the loss of innocence.

Pastor Boyer began several minutes of singing, beginning with “Amazing Grace,” followed by “We Shall Overcome,” and “This Little Light of Mine.” Remembering that the last time there was a large scale vigil on the Katonah Village Green was in the aftermath of September 11, one man said, “I hope we won’t have to keep gathering like this.”

An hour after the vigil, the 6:00 Saturday night mass at St. Mary’s spontaneously became a special mass for the slain Ms. Murphy, although that event was not publicized.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know about it,” Ms. Mcgrath said in a phone conversation Monday morning. She said she would be attending one of the several wakes held for Ms. Murphy that she had learned about from her friend Mary Pat McConnell of Ridgefield, one of Ms. Murphy’s sisters. “The phone has not stopped ringing,” Ms. Mcgrath said. “It’s good to be able to talk to people. It’s a sad occasion that brings so many old friends and acquaintances together, but it’s still joyful to see them, to talk to them. Joy and selflessness, those are the two words I’m taking with me into 2013. Joy and selflessness. At the end of her life, Annie Murphy was selfless. I think to be able to call somebody selfless is the highest compliment you can give.” Eve Marx